Why are people so bitter?
Being bitter is one of the most crushing mental problems in a person’s life. We cannot expect our lives to be happy and positive if we are always unhappy and negative. “People who have a past of being misunderstood or rejected for being different are sometimes quite bitter about it. Their bitterness may be directed at a certain group of people, society in general, the concept of socializing, the idea of having to change, or specific activities such as going to parties or playing sports. While a bitter person's underlying complaints may have some truth to them, the emotion itself is toxic and counterproductive”.
What bitterness looks like?
UGLY! Bitterness motivates complaining. Bitterness motivates gossip. Bitterness is self induced misery. Bitterness is a sign of a fragmented life. Nobody truly wants to be around a bitter man or female unless they like drama and/or gains pleasure from seeing that bitter person in the state they’re in.
A bitter woman says, “All men are the same”
A wise woman decides to stop choosing the same men.
The bitter woman vs. the wise woman goes for men choosing female as well.
I’m sure we've all encountered someone who is bitter. Whether it was family member full of resent, a friend who bashed men or women based on their failed relationship(s), a coworker who was envious because they never had a promotion, etc etc. Bitterness can be seen with children and down to senior citizens. Sometimes I encounter bitter people and it’s truly sad. Not sad like I want to cry, but sad in reference to the person truly needing HELP! To me, bitter people aren't fun to be around, they just aren't as happy, usually they’re very negative and you can tell from the words they speak or their nonverbal cues, they see what they want to see (and that’s usually with a closed mind), they sometimes avoid a good thing based on an unpleasant past memory, and they’re quick to write off people.
Other emotions that bitterness may trigger:
And there’s many more. Just think about someone bitter you know and see what other baggage full of negative emotions they may be carrying with them.
How to stop being bitter:
First things first, life will NEVER be perfect. Stop letting past hurts control you life! For some people, getting over this rut will take time. Some people bitterness is basic and on the other hand, some people have some deep deep scars that have literally damaged them for a long time. Remember when you are bitter, you are your WORST enemy. Sometimes it’s tough to stop being bitter and so angry based on past events and life circumstances. But in order to move on, you have to re-evaluate yourself and change your mindset.
Start making a conscious choice that you want to be positive and move on with your life. Forgive those who have caused you such anger. Forgiveness is apart of the healing process that many people forgot to do. Find ways to be grateful for your life and what you have.
Lastly, express your deep rotted issues instead of having them all bottled in. Reach out to someone, whether it’s a trust-worthy family member, a close friend, or a church member. Seek wise counsel and talk about your feelings so you can move on.
Helping bitter people in your life:
Pray for them, be a good listener in their life, be mindful of the advice you give them (no need to sugar coat and no need to be too harsh), and share some words to encourage them.
Some bible scriptures that deal with bitterness:
Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Hebrews 12:14 Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord.
James 3:14 But if you have bitter jealousy and rivalry in your hearts, stop boasting and slandering the truth.
Thank you for reading!
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Lover of Christ